I can’t even lie, I stayed up last night sick and all, just to catch Comedy Central’s Roast of Charlie Sheen! It was funny as hell! Some jokes went a little far but I guess it’s a roast, it’s suppose to be like that! So I’ve put together the top 6 jokes of the night….
6. “Prostitutes cost a lot of money, Charlie. Hasn’t anyone told you actresses will sleep with you for free? That’s Hollywood 101.” — William Shatner
5. “If you’re winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns. Charlie, don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?” — Jeffrey Ross
4. “Charlie gets a little confused sometimes. He’s the only guy who pulls a knife on a woman who’s already willing to f— him.” — Kate Walsh
3. “We all know there’s a good chance Charlie will be dead soon, so I wrote an obituary. ‘Charlie Sheen, who became a tabloid fixture due to his problems with drugs and alcohol, was found dead in his apartment’ — actually, you know what? I kind of actually just copied Amy Winehouse’s obituary. I only had to change three things, though: the sex of the deceased, the location of the body, and the part that says a talent that will be missed.” — Seth MacFarlane
2. “The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox.” — Anthony Jeselnik
1. “You’re just like Bruce Willis — you were big in the ’80s and now your old slot is being filled with Ashton Kutcher.” — Amy Schumer